Update...finally!

Sorry for the sabbatical. Just had one of those weeks where my mind couldn't process everything - work has been so busy and at night I just couldn't seem to bring myself to really blog much. I know I shouldn't, but my best blogging is done at work. And right now I am up to my ears in work, so blogging got put on the back burner. I am however, reading everyone's blogs though. Thanks to Grits for showing me how to set up my Google Reader - it just might be the best invention ever! (aside from DVR)

Mr. P and I had a little fight last night. Ok, it was mainly due to the fact that I had had a few drinks and my monthly visitor had arrived, so I was feeling overly sensitive. But he said made a comment about something and it just set me off. I yelled and screamed and cried....oh my! The dramatics! He let me calm down (after saying "sorry" a million times) and finally said that he never ever meant to hurt me and that "not only was I his girlfriend but I was his best friend." Wow...That got me. And of course I started bawling all over again. That was the nicest thing he's ever said to me. I did of course apologize for being overly dramatic and crazy. Being a female, it happens sometimes I guess. It made me think of that Tim McGraw song "You're more than a lover, you're my best friend." *sniffle*

My office has been talking about how expensive our insurance premiums are, and how everyone needs to get healthy, etc. So I started thinking about it and decided that we should have a Biggest Loser contest in our office! Everyone was excited (even my boss) and we weigh in on Monday. We aren't sure yet how we are going to do the prize - we thought about having everyone contribute $5 a week for a total of 8 weeks. That's $40 per person, and whoever wins the contest wins the pot. We also thought about having those that don't need to lose weight or dont' want to participate be the Coaches. They could contribute to the pot also, and if their person wins, they could also share in the pot. Not sure how that will work - but in any case, I'm excited! Why? Because I'm going to win, bitches. *evil laugh* This might be just what I need to get my booty motivated and moving...a competition! I do have a competive side to me.

What else, what else...hmm....it's raining cats and dogs here today. I'm sitting in my PJs and drinking coffee. SO lazy. Is Spring ever going to arrive?? I was supposed to go visit a friend in Atlanta today, but between the rain (and possible snow tomorrow..wha???) and my car's check engine light coming on, I decided against it. I was REALLY looking forward to some Hotlanta shopping. Oh and possible hitting up Ikea. That place is a-mazing.

That's all I got for now. Time for a coffee refill...

PS Thank you so much for all the sweet comments about my grandmother...I miss her so much but thanks to our memories, she'll always be with me. Thanks for reminding me of that!

12 months have gone by

I'm a little emotional today.

I am amazed that it has been 12 months since I have seen my sweet grandmother, held her hand and kissed her cheek.

It's been 12 months since she looked up at me in the hospital room that night while I told her goodbye for the last time. She couldn't speak, but she knew.

12 months...to me, it feels like yesterday.

I miss her still so...much...

 














(This picture is special to me because it was one of the last photos I have of her when she still remembered me. She had Dementia, and the last few years she did not know us. But part of me thinks somewhere deep down, she did. She just didn't know how to communicate that to us. I love her smile in this photo. This is how I remember her.)

dumb question forgive me

How do I start reading my blogs in google reader? And how do I get all my favorites on there? I've always wondered this. I'll be your BFF if you help me.

Make or Break Time

I want to be so excited about my Valentine's date tonight. If you had asked me a week or so ago I would have been. I think tonight will be a critical point in mine and Mr. P's relationship. Not because it's Valentine's Day. Just mainly because I am tired of the uncertainty. And I need answers. I'm ready to be swept off my feet by a man who truly loves and cares about me. Because damnit, I deserve it. And so do all my beautiful single friends. We all deserve good men. Not PERFECT men. Just a good man. And I think Mr. P is...and I'm hoping we've just had a bumpy patch lately. But I'll keep ya'll posted on how tonight goes. THANK YOU for making me feel better about the card mishap! I felt like I was being too critical. And hopefully it was just an innocent mistake. But I'm glad I to know that ya'll agreed with me on that one!

PS This is going to show ya'll the redneck side of me, but I am so excited that NASCAR RACING IS BACK TOMORROW, BABY! Go #9 GO!

How would you feel?

Mr. P gave me a Valentine's card last night.

However, he misspelled my name on the card. *sigh* I won't lie, it kind've stung a little. Lest ya'll think I'm just being ridiculous, this comes after an entire conversation one night on how to spell my name. (It's a pretty common name.) And I know it's so minor...but we've "off" a little lately and it felt like a lack of attention to detail.

I know I am being overly sensitive. I think that movie "He's Just Not That Into You" has messed too much with my head!!

By the way, The Valentine's card he gave me was from "the cats." It was cute. He says he is going to get me a "real one" tomorrow. Me thinks that meant "I'm going to try to spell your name right this time."

I know, I sound whiney. I know at least one of you thinks so, because you left a lovely "trollish" comment telling me so the other day. At least you were honest Ms. Troll. And happy Valentine's Day to you too.

I won, I really won!!!

Out of all of the gazillion of ya'lls blog giveaways out there that I have entered...I have never won. Until today. My luck is changing. Perhaps I should buy a lottery ticket??

I just won a giveaway hosted by The Cat's Pajamas! I have secretly stalked read her blog for a while now. She has the cutest kitties! (I'm a sucker for any blogger with kitties.)

Thank you Cat's Pajamas...you rock! <3

Ya'll check out my Valentine's loot...don't be jealous now... :)

I feel green

My dinner tonight:

I don't know why, but I'm craving green beans. Weird, huh?? haha

Love Bites

Things with Mr. P are a little shaky right now. This is what I have been scared of from day one with him.

I'm sad. I'm a little scared. My heart is nervous. And has fallen for him. And I don't know if he even knows it.

When I'm having a better day, I'll explain more. Right now I just feel so yucky.

Yea I know

I changed my blog header again. It's a Monday and that's all I have to say about that.

It's the Weekend Ya'll!

A little hanky panky anyone?

One of my favorite Carolina bloggers, the Blue Eyed Bride (who is now expecting a little possibly blue eyed baby) is having a giveaway. She's giving away a cute Hanky Panky gift set from Nordstrom. It's two pairs of Hanky Panky panties in a cute leopard gift box...go enter! Deadline is Feb. 9th.

PS I went in to Target during lunch for TWO things...$50 later...UGH...

Friday Food Ramble

Ya'll have all given me some fantastic ideas! I'll keep you posted as to what I come up with.

Well, not to sound like a broken record, but I started over again on my "diet" yesterday. My problem is that I am a foodie. I love food. Especially sweets! There is no sense of control when there are sweets around – my co-worker brought in some gourmet cupcakes this week. I ate 2. One I ate in the kitchen, while no one was looking because I was embarrassed.

I really don’t want to look back on 2009 as “the year I gained my weight back.” If I had the money, I would join Weight Watchers again. That was what got me through the original 25 pounds lost. It was the meetings that worked for me – the knowing you had to step on a scale every week in front of lots of people.

So,yesterday, I took a good....looong.....look at what all I have been eating lately. The fact remains, I am 5'3" tall. I am not blessed with a fast metabolism. I know for a fact my body does not require as much food as I put in it. And I HAVE to work out. Daily. All of this just to MAINTAIN weight loss. I was an expert maintainer for about 2 years. I only fluctuated between 3 and 4 pounds. But the last 4 months, my weight has gone up about 10 pounds. Not good. And not acceptable.

I think it's a combination of things. I started back on birth control last August. I'm not blaming the birth control, but I do know that my weight started creeping up around that time. Also, I've been in a new relationship the past few months as well. That sometimes leads to weight gain. But the stupid thing is - Mr. P has LOST weight. He works out constantly, watches what he eats, etc. And I've only gotten fatter! I don't want him to lose interest in me. He says he likes a woman "with curves" but...what about a woman back fat??? LOL

So, I've had to slow down the past 2 days. I've been doing a lot of thinking. A lot of breathing. A lot of focusing, meditating / praying. I need control. I need zen. I need harmony. And I need to slow….down. When I'm in control, I'm in tune with my body and it's needs. I know how to tell the difference between REAL hunger and that desire to eat just because I want to zone out for a few minutes. And what always comes after you woof down something you know you shouldn’t have??? GUILT.

This morning, I had an accomplishment. Our office eats breakfast together every Friday and someone always brings in a quiche or casserole of some sort. I always help myself to a huge piece and eat it so fast I barely taste it. And usually go back for seconds.

Not today. I had a small slice of the quiche, a banana and a cup of yogurt. And my morning coffee. (sans sugar also - big step) And no seconds.

One day at a time, right? If I can quit smoking the way I did 6 years ago, surely I can do this.

V-Day...EEK

First of all, THANK you so much for all the sweet comments on my last post! It really is one of my proudest accomplishments, and I thank you so much for the support. And Martinis for 2, that is the BEST thing I could ever hope for in sharing my story :) So thanks! To all of you.

Most Valentine's Days, being the quintessential single girl, I usually lock myself in my house, avoid the candy and card aisles in the stores like the plague, and vomit at all the lovers in love getting roses at work while I secretly plot revenge.

My sweet friend C and her hubs E have been known to deliver VDay gifts to me at work before. It was SO sweet. I finally told them that it would probably end up being cheaper for them in the long run to just get me a boyfriend, ya know?

Well this year, I have a date. (all my married friends are cheering and breathing sighs of relief)Go me! I mean, Gawd. I am 30 *cough* years old for God's sake. I'm freakin due for a good one.

So last night, Mr. P brings up V Day weekend and what I'd like to do, go, etc. And then it dawned on me, I would need to get him something. Which brings me to my question...

What do women get men for Valentine's Day??? (other than the obvious)

We haven't said the "L" word yet. Do I get him a card? Funny or mushy? I don't know if he's really a card kind of guy. He's pretty redneck outdoorsy and manly.

Suggestions? (That darn Moe up and deleted his blog and he would come in handy on this post. Damn you Moe, wherever you are!)

Thank you for not smoking

How could I forget one of my most proudest accomplishments??


Yesterday was my 6 year anniversary of quitting smoking. I smoked for about 9 years - started the nasty habit in college and then suddently it took over my life.


I never pictured myself as a smoker. Growing up, I made fun of smokers (kharma) My Grandfather died a painful death from smoking - emphysema is an awful thing. But yet, peer pressure in college and the next thing I knew - I was puffing away. Addicted.


So six years ago, a friend challenged me to quit. I was determined to quit before my 30th birthday. Scariest, hardest thing I ever did in my life. We took our cigarettes, put them on a stick and made "nicobobs" in my fireplace. It was exhilerating and yet I was terrified.


About 2 weeks later, my friend started smoking again. How could I do this alone???


If you are thinking about quitting, here's what you need to know (from my experience only).


Don't wait on others to quit with you.
Don't be afraid to let go. (For those of you that don't smoke, you won't get this.)
Don't wait til tomorrow.
Don't tell yourself you can "taper off." (some might can, but I couldn't"
Don't be afraid to go cold turkey.
Don't give up if you have a slip. And you will most likely. Just start over.
Get help. (I joined Quitnet and kept an online diary of my struggles for one year. I think it saved my life. I still have it and read it every now and then.)

And yes, it's hard. VERY hard. What have you got to lose? I think we all know the answer to that. Life is more important than that craving and 60 second nicotine buzz.


Happy smoke free anniversary to me!

2193 days, 11 hours, 51 minutes and 32 seconds smoke free.
13161 cigarettes not smoked. (GROSS)
$1,973.70 and 3 months, 10 days, 12 hours of your life saved.
Your quit date: 2/2/2003

Being an Olympic Gold Medalist is stressful

You know...I love that Michael Phelps is hanging out in my hometown a good bit. He's been spotted here and there...getting massages....dining out...etc. And now he's been spotted um...relaxing...

What do ya'll think....next cover of the Wheaties box???
























For the record...I still love me some Phelps. He's just a kid and made a mistake. He just needs some friends that won't sell him out. Ha!

Update: Apparently, Phelps' girlfriend goes to Carolina and that's why he's been hanging around here so much lately. His Coach is also from Columbia as well. Here's good ole Cocky bowing down to the golden boy back during the season at one of our games: