In order to move forward to 2010, I need to do some confessing of the soul. Bare with me this one last final "airing of grievances" post and then it's over and done with, I promise!
I regretfully spent a large portion of the last part of 2009 feeling sorry for myself. I have been mopey, bitchy, angry, bitter, annoyed, sad, depressed...you know, all the crazy Dwarves. I have snapped at friends. I have avoided people. While everyone else was out enjoying the "spirit" of the season, I was sitting at home. Moping. And dreading the holidays. Hating them. I barely even looked at the Christmas cards I received this year. (I'm sorry friends) I didn't even send cards for the first time in years. I didn't go look at the lights (except if I ran by them), I didn't go to any Christmas parties, I didn't even go to Christmas Eve service like I always do. And to top it all off, my family got 3 phone calls on Christmas Day that 3 different people we knew had passed away. One of them being a lady that was like a second grandmother to me all these years. We knew her time was close, but really?? Christmas Day? My mom and I agreed that God just wanted her to have a special Christmas this year so he took her home with him. It was just the icing on the cake for me though.
But enough is enough. Last Sunday I went to church for the first time in months. It was a new church, and I really liked it. I'm planning on going back this Sunday. It's not that I had a pivotal moment in church or anything, but as I sat there listening to the music, I realized that things have to change. I don't exactly know how but I know I am going to figure it out.
I was going to to a "reflection" post over this past year, but I decided against it. I just want to move forward. I know a lot of people get caught up in resolutions and I think that is ok. It's a chance to forgive yourself and start over. Who doesn't need that?
In a nutshell, it's time for me to "take out the trash." 2009 was not my best year. But sometimes we need bad years to appreciate great years. All of the negativity and sadness is going out to the dumpster. I have so many things to be grateful for in my life. Believe me, I thank God EVERY night for everything He's given or done for me. He knows I'm grateful. He just knows I've been a little out of sorts lately. We're working on that together.
So here's to you 2010, whatever you may bring. Happy New Year to all of you!
PS I have a new blog in the works! I'm excited. My brother bought and paid for the domain for me for Christmas. Good things to come...