Ever feel like you missed the train in life? Like you were supposed to buy the ticket or whatever it is that was supposed to get you on the train but you missed out on that? And all your friends are on the train waving at you and you are running beside it trying to get on but you can't seem to make it happen.
Most days I feel so blessed and thankful for the life I have. But some days I just feel so strange. Like life is passing me by and I can't figure out why I'm not on "the bus." I am definitely NOT where I thought I'd be at this age and it's a strange strange feeling. Not necessarily a bad feeling. Just strange. I have morbid thoughts all the time about what's going to happen to me when I lose my parents. My brother and I are not super close, so I'm so scared that I'm going to end up alone someday. I know that is awful but I have these thoughts frequently these days. I could always adopt a child but it's so hard to adopt when you are a single person. So many hoops to jump through and then there's the financial hardships. I don't know if I could do it.
Maybe I'm fighting too hard to get on a train I'm not supposed to be on. But if not, then what's the plan?
Is this a mid-life crisis? I sort've feel like it perhaps. I keep having those "maybe I should go sky-diving" thoughts. I'm in a rut. I don't feel excited about anything these days. Everything seems so....monotonous.
If you know me IRL, please bear with me. This too shall pass. In the mean time, fake it til ya make it...
14 comments:
It's normal.
I felt that way too when I was single. I didn't meet Brad until 33 and was 34 when we married.
I sort of feel that way now. We both do.
Everyone is starting a family or has one and it's just not happening for us.
I've been talking to someone about it and am getting to a place where I'm okay if we don't get on that bus.
You should email me. I'll share some tips :)
Girl - this is so normal.. at least I hope so, since I feel the same way!!!
With not having children of my own, that's my fear as well... just being alone in my old age. My hubs is 10 yrs older then I & that scares me... my parents are getting older... I get that same feeling that I just didnt do "life" right..
let's make a deal - me & you? We'll take care of each other in old age! Got it? Pinky swearing! :)
I'm right there with you. I swear I have been having the same thoughts lately. How the heck did I get here?
It's making me and everyone around..Crazy!!
Don't worry, it will pass.We all have felt the same way and still do at times and don't worry about not being on "the bus". You are on your "own bus" that others are not on and it goes on a different route with a different destination, and that is not a bad thing. We all live different lives and that is good! Enjoy life and be sure that others have wondered how come they're not on your "bus"!
I'm in my mid forties. I hate to tell you this but the older you get the faster the effing train rolls :(
Girl I feel the same way sometimes and I am married with kids. I think it is normal:). I
Sounds like you and I have been sharing similar thoughts (again) lately. I think it's pretty normal to feel this way. For the most part, I try to look at all the things that I'm grateful for & that bring me joy, such as spending time with my family & close friends, and just try staying positive. I know it can be hard sometimes, but as the saying goes, 'This too shall pass.' :-)
I think we all feel like we've missed the bus on things throughout our lives. I totally hear you, boo. But I know how wonderful you are -- how impossible it is to make last minute plans with you, because your calendar is booked a month in advance -- and I honest to goodness know you are going to be ok. I am so, so thankful to have your beautiful spirit in my life!
I am glad to know I am not the only one who feels that way. I have been feeling like that for a couple months and thought I was just being weird.
So glad you are back blogging. I have missed you girl! We all feel like that... me too... You are a WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL fabulous woman.. WE need to share a bottle of wine & sort it all out. :-) IF you ever feel like doing something CRAZY hop on a plane, & come to Europe for holiday.. We'll get you set up with some hottie over here. :-) GLAD YOU ARE BACK!
I think it is definitely normal. I have kind of been feeling the same way lately. I work two jobs and I have been with someone for ten years, but I am just so....bored. Everyday feels like Groundhogs day. I am 31, not married, no kids, and no wedding in the works. We have been engaged for four years. So sometimes, even when you have someone, the bus still feels like it missed the stop at your house :/
Hey - I know EXACTLY what you're talking about. Most days I try to convince myself that marriage is an antiquated tradition and that I don't want children, because HOW ELSE would I be able to lead such a fabulous life if I had the 'burden of responsibility'? Other days, I'm sad that I missed the train or wasted important years with the wrong person. I just tell myself that things work out the way they do for a reason. It keeps me going.
I know exactly how you feel! Most days I feel this way but then I try to focus on letting go and letting god. There must be a reason that I am on a different path than most of my friends.
I know oneday it will make sense. Just like things that happened to me 5 years ago finally make sense now :)
It's so nice to hear someone else express what I have been feeling lately. Keep it up!
It's tough to trust the path when it looks different from the map, right? I've been on the "train" when I shouldn't have been, felt like I missed the train, got back on the train, and wonder if I'm on the wrong train. If you figure it out, let us know! Till then, we'll jsut keep going down the tracks.
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